My Goals

Get my own place with or without Joe
Be able to support myself
Get a car
Get my own place

Just sitting here day by day awaiting the day my child is to come into this earth. Already I love it so much. Everytime I even look at a little baby I cry because one of my life long dreams have came true. I just wish that certain situations can change because I never pictured raising a child in certain curcumstances. I do get very pissed lately because daddy hasnt been around much but I know he will not deny and forget his child but I do wish hed pay more attention to me. I get so pissed off that I cry for quite some time. Today I have cried like i have never cried in a long time but then I took time out to think of the baby. I love it not giving a damn about anyone or anybody else but me and my child. I mean I do care about others but it seems like the world is my own and no one can take it away. I just wish all the things I wish to do I can do but am not financially set to do so. I am looking for a job but once I find it I will so do all the things my heart desires in time. But this baby comes first and I so love it. I cant wait 21 more weeks. I LOVE YOU BABY MOMMY LOVES YOU!!

ANNOYED

God I am really begining to hate my room mate Amber. I wish she would just leave for some time and not come back. Me and my hunny were having issues. I told her I wanted my own place once my child is born and she told Joe and now he thinks Im leaving him and is pissed at me. Sure I get pissed because he isnt here much and I think it is because I get annoyed with my room mates so much I want him to be here to back me up and so I dont get pissed. He calms me down and makes me feel good when he is around me and not glued to the front of the computer screen. I would so do anything not to have to live with these damn people anymore. It was alot easier when it was me and Joe in our own place which I am dying to have again. I just dont like to be bothered and with my own place I can kick people out. My hunny can bug me sometimes but never gets on my case and annoys me as much as my roomie for some reason.

Bush--Greedy Fly

Do you ever find your biggest fears to become your biggest realities?? Seems like there is never an escape and that there will only be one fear after another and that the only thing that seems to keep me holding on is the works of my own hands.



do you feel the way you hate
do you hate the way you feel
always closest to the flame
ever closer to the blade
i am poison crazy lush
built these hands to lift me up
we are servants to our formulaic ways
i'm screaming daisies
from 14 miles away
i've got my own time
got it all today
make up your mind
i need some help
to find this mind
limbo this and limbo that
you were this and you were that
ever know that what you fear is what you
find
this indian summer
i signed my life away
there's a greedy fly in here
and i fly away

Just to let the world in on things me and my bf are currently expecting.

Metallica--Nothing Else Matters

This is to you Joe! People been talking about the situation and how we shouldn't be together but I don't care what they do or say I'm still loving you more and more each day!! Putting all my love in trust in you because to me you are what matters most. I love you!!











So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
It couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

My Love

This is Joe and I love him so!!:D

Bush--Swallowed

warm sun feed me up
i'm leery loaded up
loathing for a change
and i slip some
boil away
swallowed followed
heavy about everything
but my love
swallowed sorrowed
i'm with everyone and yet not
i'm with everyone and yet not
i'm with everyone and yet not
just wanna be myself
hey you said that you would love to try
some
hey you said that you would love to die
some
in the middle of a world on a fishhook
you're the wave
you're the wave
you're the wave
swallowed borrowed
heavy about everything
but my love
swallowed hollowed
sharp about everyone
but yourself
swallowed oh no
i'm with everyone and yet not
i'm with everyone and you're not
i'm with everyone and yet not
piss on self-esteem
forward busted knee
sick head
blackened lungs
and i'm a simple selfish son
swallowed followed
oh no i'm with everyone and yet not
got to get away from here
got to get away from here
i miss the one that i love a lot
i miss the one that i love a lot

Bush--Greedy Fly

do you feel the way you hate
do you hate the way you feel
always closest to the flame
ever closer to the blade
i am poison crazy lush
built these hands to lift me up
we are servants to our formulaic ways
i'm screaming daisies
from 14 miles away
i've got my own time
got it all today
make up your mind
i need some help
to find this mind
limbo this and limbo that
you were this and you were that
ever know that what you fear is what you
find
this indian summer
i signed my life away
there's a greedy fly in here
and i fly away

Have You Ever?

1. Taken a picture naked?
Yes

2. Painted your room?
Yes

3. Made out with a member of the same sex?
no but it would be interesting

4. Drove a car?
Yes

5. Danced in front of your mirror?
yes

6. Have a crush?
Yes

7. Been dumped?
Yes

8. Stolen money from a friend?
Never

9. Gotten in a car with people you just met?
Yes

10. Been in a fist fight?
Yes

11. Snuck out of your house
No

12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
Yes

13. Been arrested?
No

14. Made Out With A Stranger?
No

15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?
Yes

16. Left your house without telling your parents?
Yes

17. Had a crush on your neighbor?
No
18. Ditched school to do something more fun?
Yes

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
No

20. Seen someone die?
No

21. Been on a plane?
No

22. Kissed a picture?
yes

23. Slept in until 3?
Yes

24. Love someone or miss someone right now?
Yes

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
Yes

26. Made a snow angel?
Yes

27. Played dress up?
Yes

28. Cheated while playing a game?
Yes

29. Been lonely?
Yes

30. Fallen asleep at work/school?
No
31. Been to a club?
No

32. Felt an earthquake?
No

33. Touched a snake?
Yup

34. Ran a red light?
Yes

35. Been suspended from school?
No

36. Had detention?
Yes

37. Been in a car accident?
Does hitting a bush or slidding into a ditch count?

38. Hated the way you look?
No

39. Witnessed a crime?
No

40. Pole danced?
No

41. Been lost?
Yes

42. Been to the opposite side of the country?
No

43. Felt like dying?
No

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Yes

48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
yes

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
No

50. Kissed in the rain?
No but would like to

51. Sang in the shower?
Yes

52. Made love in a park?
Yes and was caught by a ranger.

53. Had a dream that you married someone?
no

54. Glued your hand to something?
Yes

55. Got your tongue stuck to a pole?
No

56. Ever gone to school partially naked?
No

57. Been a cheerleader?
Hell no

58. Sat on a roof top?
Yes

59. Didn't take a shower for a week?
Yes

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
When I was a hell of a lot younger

61. Played chicken?
Yea

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Yes

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?
Yes

65. Been easily amused?
Yes

67. Mooned/flashed someone?
Yes

68. Cheated on a test?
yes

69. Forgotten someone's name?
Yes

70. Slept naked?
Yup

71. Gone skinny dipping?
No but would like to.

73. Blacked out from drinking?
Nope

74. Played a prank on someone?
Yes

75. Gone to a late night movie?
Yes

76. Made love to anything not human?
No

77. Failed a class?
yes, almost

78. Choked on something ur not supposed to eat?
no

79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?
no

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend?
Nope

82. Thrown strange objects?
Yes

83. Felt like killing someone?
No

84. Felt like running away?
Yes

85.Have u ever ran away?
When I was a lot younger yes

89. Made a parent cry?
Yes a long time ago

90. Cried over someone?
Yes

91. Had sex more than 10 times in one day?
No

92. Dated someone more than once?
Yes

93. Had/Have a dog?
Yes had

95. Own an instrument?
Yes

96. Been in a band?
No

97. Drank 25 sodas in a day?
Yup

98. Broken a CD?
Yup

99. Shot a gun?
Yup

100. Had feelings for one of your best/good friends?
Yes and I still do. Course I am sure he knows this.

A pic of me !!

Wonders

How do you tell a friend you care withought him feeling like the world is to fall down upon him and he only but wants to die and be falling from it anyhow?
How do you show a person to love when all they have seen is hate? How do you teach a person faith when all they have known is disgrace? How do you save innocent souls from being saved when in your mind you feel they are forever lost?

You Are My Sunshine

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And So I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me to love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Nickelback--Someone You're With

These lyrics describe how I feel about a current person in my life.

I reside in 209, you're in 208
You moved in last Friday night,
and I just couldn't wait
So I tried to call across the hall,
to ask you out someday
But a lineup formed outside your door, and I was way too late

[CHORUS]
Well I'd rather start off slow
This whole thing's like
some sort of race
Instead of winning what I want
I'm sitting here in second place

Because somewhere
the one I wanna be with's
with somebody else
Oh god, I wanna be that
someone that you're with
I wanna be that someone
that you're with
And I can talk about it all day long
'til I run out of breath
But I still wanna be that
someone that you're with
I've got to be that
someone that you're with
And I'm pacing by the phone
'Cause I hate to be alone
And if you're out there with him
somewhere and just about to kiss
God I wanna be that
someone that you're with

Well I hear your favorite songs
you sing along with everyday
And I borrow things that
I don't need for conversation sake
Last night I heard your key,
it hit your lock at 4 AM
Instead of being out with me
you must be out with them

[CHORUS]

Because somewhere the one
I wanna be with's
with somebody else
Oh god, I wanna be that
someone that you're with
I wanna be that
someone that you're with
And I can talk about it all day long
'til I run out of breath
But I still wanna be that
someone that you're with
I've got to be that
someone that you're with
And I'm pacing by the phone
'Cause I hate to be alone
And if you're out there with him
somewhere and just about to kiss
God, I wanna be that
someone that you're with

Well somewhere the one
I wanna be with's
with somebody else
Oh god, I wanna be that
someone that you're with
And I can talk about it all day long
'til I run out of breath
But I still wanna be that
someone that you're with
I've got to be that
someone that you're with
And I'm pacing by the phone
'Cause I hate to be alone
And if you're out there with him
somewhere and just about to kiss
God, I've got to be that
someone that
I wanna be that someone that
I've got to be that
someone that you're with

Nickelback-- Photograph

This is a song in which a few verses remind me of the past!

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if It's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how if feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it

So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me

Simple Questions

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Matthew West--More

Take a look at the mountain
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to Me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting to
Even when you come undone

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Shine for Me
Shine for Me
Shine on, shine on
Shine for Me

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

No Use For A Name--Coming Too Close

There was a time when you would come and go
Now there's no time left to react
Just as it starts to heal in comes a bitter end
Well you were already to leave my side and then...

You're coming too close and I can't pretend
That I'll pick you up or let you come in again
We've been through this before, so please understand
That nothing in this heart can save you from the pain you seek
If you pick up the phone please don't call on me

No one can save you from the undertow
Nobody can blame you for the past
Just as I started thinking "Everything's alright"
You showed us surely that your tenth time was your last

You're coming too close and I can't pretend
That I'll pick you up or let you come in again
We've been through this before, so please understand
That nothing in this heart can save you from the pain you seek
If you pick up the phone please don't call on me

Yesterday I saw you falling to the ground
Seems like things get worse when no one is around
It's not OK

You're coming too close and I can't pretend
That I'll pick you up or let you come in again
We've been through this before, so please understand
That nothing in this heart can save you from the pain you seek
If you pick up the phone please don't call on me

No Use For A Name--Chasing Rainbows

Just heard the news today, let yourself down once again
Trusted your feelings in a place that no one goes
Will you do anything, to satisfy your so-called friend?
There's something you ought to know, before you explode

All I want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows
Trusting those around you is an easy thing to do
I'm not saying don't believe in someone that you don't know
Just don't go on thinking that the whole world tells the truth

It's all fucked up, being reserved and quiet
She doesn't understand the message that you send
Don't give it all away somewhere, sometimes there's someone
Who can replace that state of mind, you never give it time (never)

All I want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows
Letting everybody crawl inside your heart and mine
Kicking you is easy when you're down that's where the weak go
To release their anger on someone who will not try
To stand up, and give them a fight

No Use For A Name--Dumb Reminders

i heard the message
then i rang it off the hook
i didn't get you till 1 am
who was wrong and who was right
and this distance caused a fight
now i'm ready to give in

honestly
i'd give anything
to be with you
right now

this town is full of dumb reminders
having a good time can't you tell
hang up the phone and then i come back down
miss you i hope you're doing well

i'm used to waiting
what's a voice without a face
i think i'm dying without you here
so i drink myself to sleep
and then i hide beneath the sheet
and i try to disappear

i get up
every single time
cuz you keep me
alive

this town is full of dumb reminders
how far ahead from you in miles
if i could get one time as take it down
maybe then i could see you

this town is full of dumb reminders
having a good time can't you tell
hang up the phone and then i come back down
miss you i hope you're doing well

Three Days Grace-- Are You Ready?

You'd said we'd never get this far
You said your words, we've played our parts
Said your two cents now
It's my turn
So, sit down, shut up
Are you ready?

So, you think you know how this story goes
Are you ready for this?

Sit down, are you ready for this?
Shut up, are you ready for this?
Stand up, are you ready for this?
This game
Are you ready?

I thought you'd never come this far
I thought your words meant something more
Said my two cents now
It's your turn
So stand up and scream
Are you ready?

So you think you know how this story goes
Are you ready for this?



Sit down, are you ready for this?
Shut up, are you ready for this?
Stand up, are you ready for this?
This game
Are you ready?

Are you ready?
Are you ready for this?

Sit down, are you ready for this?
Shut up, are you ready for this?
Stand up, are you ready for this?
This game
Are you ready for this?

Matthew West--Heart of Every Man

To a world turning cold as stone
To a world spinning out of control
See the sigh of the times
Feel the emptiness inside
To try to hide the pain inside

CHORUS
May the love of Jesus fll
the heart of every man
May the hope of heaven touch
a life with healing hands
And may all who seek him find
grace enough to stand
May the love of Jesus fill
the heart of every man

To a soul that's too tired to fight
To a heart that's too weary to try
When all faith is taken away
by the trials of the day
When there's nothing left to say

CHORUS

BRIDGE
For God so loved the world that
He gave his Son and
Whoever believes will know His love

CHORUS

Mercy Me -- Word Of God Speak

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

LONESTAR--I'm So In Love With You

Here's a song Tim and I shared in the past.

everytime our eyes meet
this feeling inside me
is almost more than i can take
baby when you touch me
i can feel how much you love
and it just blows me away
ive never been this close to anyone or anything
i can hear your thoughts i can see your dreams

i dont know how you do what you do
im so in love with you
it just keeps gettin better
i wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
forever and ever
every lil thing that you do baby im amazed by you

the smell of your skin
the taste of your kiss
the way you whisper in the dark
your hair all around me
baby you surround me
and touch every place in my heart
oh it feels like the first time everytime
i wanna spend the whole nite in your eyes

i dont know how you do what you do
im so in love with you
it just keeps gettin better
i wanna spend the rest of my life
with you by my side
forever and ever
every lil thing that you do baby im amazed by you

every lil thing that you do
im so in love with you it just keeps gettin better
i wanna spend the rest of my life
with you by my side
forever and ever

every lil thang that you do
ohh every lil thing that you baby im amazed by... you